When I finish a workout or whenever I have to hold a pose, my thoughts wander even though they are not supposed to. I’m saying this because I’ve been regularly practicing yoga for the last week and I’m supposed to focus on my breath. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen and I’m laying on my mat, talking to myself and revisiting events. My job is a stressful one; my employer who is also my direct supervisor isn’t always the easiest person to work with. I rarely do mistakes, but when I do, they hit me hard like a punch in the gut. I’m currently torn in between explaining my actions and shutting up since the latter was what my ex was so keen on.
Be quiet, do as you are told and do not repeat the mistake.
As I am writing this sentence, tears make their way up and glide down my cheeks quietly. I felt and sometimes still feel broken. My little minions inside are still trying to repair the pieces of who I am as a person. I’m still struggling to think about myself first in the hopes of finding my spirit back.
On a side note, I’ve come to really enjoy yoga, meditation, and even PiYo. I meet other women and men that want to take some time for themselves the way I do and I can let go of my daily struggles during that hour. I can forget who I was and who I am trying to be. I focus on being who I am in the present and I can work on every inch of my body and entity. Plus, my clothes are actually fitting looser these days (I won’t complain!)
Referring to my last blog post: First Date, if everything goes well, there will be a second date this weekend. With my background and childhood, I have always put men before myself, but that is no longer the case! I have decided that a certain time wasn’t convenient for me because it interfered with my yoga class. Knowing and realizing that has made me feel incredibly good. Back to dating, sex has been a topic many times between us and I remember the old me from the new me. I think that with this guy, I may see a bit of my old self back for certain things that matter. For others, let’s say that I’m making room for the new me. I found an interesting article on making sex mind-blowing and feel free to visit it, I’m mainly keeping this link as a reference for the future.
The Kneeling Daughter